Out of order

This blog will been temporarily interrupted.

Apologies to my few readers.

I'll be back soon.

Carnaval II

One week away from Carnaval I find myself dreading it already.

The city becomes a mess at this time of the year, traffic is crazy. All due to street Carnaval and parties all over town. Plus it's boiling hot and I have a cold.

I feel like escaping this place as fast as I can.

And then come back on March, the 2nd, when the year in Brazil REALLY starts.

Brazilian curiosities

Beautiful, "meaty", hot women in Brazil are vulgarly called "planes".

During pre-carnaval days, we see lots of mulatas around, with sculptural bodies, that would certainly fall in this category.

Embarking on this chovinistic mood, I couldn't resist to post the picture of this mulata, who could be called a Boeing 777, and her formidable "behind".

Ala-la-o o o o

Carnaval is coming. I wish I could throw myself right in the middle of the madness.

Next year.. for sure.

The first time one never forgets

And I wish I was talking about sex, as my first time was pretty much below average.

In this case, I mean botox, of course, and I will sure not forget my first (and probably last) shot at it.

After having finally succumbed to this anti-ageing "miracle", or so people call it, I went ahead and "botoxed" my face. I had gone for a normal, harmless consultation at a (new) dermatologist and we then decided to go on with it - on the spot.

During the process, I thought of a joke I heard a few times as a child that goes like "if it's offered for free I'd even take injections in my forehead".. and kind of puzzled, I realised that there I was, PAYING to get injections in my forehead!!!

For most people the result of my venture might go unnoticed (not to Patrick, it sure did not) but I feel like I have a few paralysed spots in my face and a "devilish" look with ONE very high eyebrow...! Kind of a naughty, suggestive look 24/7 !?!

Now... is this whole vanity madness not a marvelous, contradictory contrast to the lighting up of incense, meditating and chanting mantras (next to hairy-armpit women) in my Iyengar class?!

The beauty lies in seeing the absurdity of the situation and NEVER to stop having a good laugh at it.

Meanwhile in diaper world

My little baby Joaquim is starting to smile and say "Gu-gu" and he just looooves a cuddle. Actually at 2 months and a few days old he is already a professional "shmuzer".

He comes to mummy's arms and "pof!" - dead asleep.

Well, there is still a few years (and a loong time) before I get all mellow about this little chap going to primary school.

But then again, as I said earlier, time flies.

A Milestone

Tomorrow Antonio starts primary school.

I can't help but to feel kind of blue facing this milestone of "my big baby's" life.

While tagging his books this afternoon I kept thinking that from tomorrow on he'll start building his knowledge and opening his mind to an infinity of interests. Forming life-long friendships (or at least as long as we stay here) and experiencing all the ups and downs that school life brings.

Extremely touched by all that lies ahead of my beloved little boy, I came to realise how time REALLY flies. And how important it is to fully participate in his life, guide, love and instruct him. But most of all, to enjoy -with him- the glorious childhood years of life.

Revolutionary Road

Yesterday night I went to the cinema to watch Revolutionary Road.

More than a film, this is a mirror held in front of one's face.

I felt like my life will never be the same after being thrown those truths at.

The movie, nonetheless, is a masterpiece.

Fish goes, fish come

My son's fish died this morning.

My sister gave it to him as a Christmas present and he fed it, looked at it and talked about it every single day ever since.

The little one got really shaken by his loss and after calling the whole family to deliver the news, we had a little funeral to poor Gary.

I promised him instantly to get him a new fishy and late afternoon we drove in a flooded Rio to a pet shop to buy his new aquatic pal.

Two "female" ones were picked and paid for and as we drove home their names were chosen. "Anna" is the red one and "Bluey" is the blue one.

So easy to make a six-year-old mind-blowing happy. So rewarding as well.

This afternoon, the fish costed me 3 Euros but his smile was just priceless.

Vik

This afternoon I took Antonio, and three of his mates, to Rio's Modern Art Museum to see the exhibition of US-based Brazilian artist Vik Muniz.

His works are extraordinary and consist of well-known master pieces redone using different materials (garbage, toys, coloured paper, real diamonds, tomato sauce, peanut butter, chocolate fudge).

We saw a "Medusa Marinara" made with spaghetti and.. marinara sauce, a Monalisa made of peanut butter and another one made of jam. Boticelli's Venus of Milo made of garbage and an Elizabeth Taylor portrait made of real diamonds.

Difficult to describe his vibrant, original, phenomenal work. Unmissable.

Hong Kong

My last posts made me think of Hong Kong and I realised I had never written about the city I adore.

Maybe because I am moving to NY soon and the association between both cities is inevitable, I've been thinking more and more about it.

Just to make things clear, Hong Kong is New York of Asia.

We came there, myself and Patrick, with 23 and 25 years old respectively.

Upon arrival at the city and at our "hotel" we went (surprise, surprise) straight to a pub and after a few beers walked towards Kowloon's promenade.

We had little idea and few expectations about the place and were taken - full blown - by surprise. The view we had of HK island and its skyline was shattering and absolutely unforgetable to us.

I have the feeling that it was right there that our globetrotting life reallly started.

Likes and dislikes

I bought my first (and only) Celine Dion CD while living in Hong Kong and came back home from work everyday - in the very cool HK tram - listening to it in my diskman (Jurassic times).

Maybe I associated her music to the fabulous time I had while living there.

Her passionate tunes blended well with the very emotional local music, that even sang in Cantonese and totally non-comprehensible, nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Talk about the likes of Emil Chau... (maybe a cheap Chinese version of James Blunt)

This is powerful stuff, my friend.

Skeleton in the closet (chapter I)

Everybody has one or more skeletons in the closet.

I have a zillion of those. Believe me. I could even be in the Guiness book of records, I suppose.

But my really tacky, cheesy, whatever you call is...

CELINE DION... (Blimey!!)

She is whatever people say but her voice is just out of this world. And it gets under my skin..

I'll still go to Vegas one day to see her. And Patrick will for sure be sitting right by my side, clapping and nodding (kind of "yeah, amor, she's all right!"). And getting all touchy and emotional. In a way only real die-hard Germans can get... hahahahaha

Sun worshipers

I've checked on BA's site which area Patrick will cover in his new job. Latin America and Caribbean is quite a vast possibility of countries and I wanted to get familiarized with his stations.

Mexico, Bermuda, Nassau, Jamaica, St Lucia, Tobago, Buenos Aires, Miami, etc... Let's just say we'll have a hell of a good year ahead.

And the word of order will be: SUNTAN!!!

God bless

My 6 year-old is the best son and brother anybody could wish for.

His affection towards Joaquim is never-ending and his jealousy is down to the very minimum.

I simply have no words to describe how lucky I am.

My angel

Saying farewell. Once again

Crying like a river. And no one would understand if I said I was writing an e-mail to a bunch of friends and getting so emotional.

Well, it's true and I did cry my eyes off as I wrote my farewell e-mail to my South African friends yesterday afternoon.

I had an idea already that my bond to SA, its people and the friends I made there was very strong. I had seen evidence of it once, less than a year ago, as I was driving home from the gym in Joburg and I received a phone call.

On the other end was Patrick and he was breaking the news that he might be transferred to New York. - "HEY, HO! Congratulations, bla, bla, bla..!" And fat tears started rolling down my cheeks, like a 10 year old kid, driving by people and cars, in complete disarray. I was two months pregnant then.. and I got so damn sad about the prospect of leaving South Africa.

The transfer did not materialise then and we stayed on in SA a few more months.

However, at that exact moment I knew I was hooked. And might stay this way until I go back one day to my beloved Africa.

The little eater

Unlike Antonio, our baby Joaquim, is a BIG eater and his 2nd visit to the pediatrician broke all the records.

His weight, at 2 months, is astonishing 5.300kgs and his height is 57,5cms! As he was born with 3.030kgs and arrived at home with 2.600kgs, his weight DOUBLED in a space of 60days.

The sky is the limit for our little eater.

I knew this one was just like daddy..!


KIDDING, amor!

Big news

I heard last Friday that the Fehring household might be crossing an ocean once again.

Patrick was offered a very good job in a dream location.

BUTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH!!!!!

New city, new house, new friends, new surroundings.

NEW YORK!

Dr Alberto Goldin

I have a new shrink and he is brilliant. I love his "no frills, practical" approach towards things.

In Rio he writes a newspaper column and is very well-known, a bit of a "celeb" himself. Apart from treating a few screwed-up local celebrities as well.

I usually avoid famous doctors but this one came very well recommended and I couldn't resist it.

On our first consultation as I walked in he asked me "why are you here?" and I answered "because of so and so". After a few more questions, he asked me again "but are you sure you are here for so and so"? And as I confirmed it he answered...: "BULLSHIT!!"

(in a much softer way, of course, but that was the message that came across).

Feeling as if I had been hit by lightning, I finally saw the light in the end of the tunnel.

Welcome to my new, beautiful, no crap world.

Weight off my shoulders

I have decided to cancel my skiing trip.

My baby is too small and I don't think it is a good idea to leave him "motherless" for a week.

Patrick applauded my decision and will go snorkeling with Antonio on Brazil's Northeastern coast instead.

Decision taken, I feel light again and maybe I might just manage to have a full night of sleep.

Why I love Africa

I LOVE the sort of headlines one can only read on African newspapers. This one I "highjacked" from the facebook page of a friend's friend.


Attention to the smaller note "Denial in time of Cholera" and a (not so cute) pic of good old Robert M.

Histerical.

And Cholera is coming

As I first heard of the Cholera outbreak last year in Zim and the neglect of Mugabe's governement towards the crisis I feared what is actually happening now.

As thousands of Zimbabwean workers go back to spend Christmas holidays at home and come back to South Africa in January, it was expected that some could come back infected or with the disease fully in place.

As 60 cases were identified and one death reported in Mpumalanga, a province right next to Gauteng, where Johannesburg is located, I fear the worse might yet to come.

Hopefully our dear Loveness is safe and healthy wherever she is.

Getting closer to inauguration

Motivation

After writing my last post and thinking that I will actually stay away from my beloved baby Quim for a whole week, I had to go and check him out - sleeping like an angel in his cot.

And look for motivation to fly to Switzerland.

Found it.

Skiurlaub

My son has been a real partner and friend to me. His support throughout my pregnancy was amazing and surprising - coming from a 5-year old.

I do any sacrifices for him so I decided to reward my little boy with a skiing trip to lovely Klosters.

I will leave my beloved Rio at the hight of its summer, leave my 2-month old angel behind and hit the freezing slopes to do something I am not particularly crazy about. All for him.

Departure is on Jan 29th.

Delightful

It's moments like this that make all the upheaval of the last months absolutely worth it.

But hey! Who the hell put a sock over the baby's hand..!?! The poor thing.. CUUTE!

Back to life

Despite the awful weather in Rio, and LOTS of ups and downs, the arrival of 2009 brought me back to life.

I had my first bit of exercising today - a brisk walk on a treadmill in my new Yoga Studio (the awesome Nirvana) and am back full force with my meditation practices. (And I have no idea how I could live without pranayama for so long).

Tomorrow I'll go for an Iyengar class. Ahhh.... BLISS!

My boys are doing great, Patrick is back in Joburg and I am finally in touch with my girlfriends, making lots of social plans for the month.

After a long and dark winter... I am back. Full stop.

My boys

After Joaquim was born, Antonio suddenly became nearly a 20-something old guy. I can't forget he is still 5... turning on 6. And that I'll still have my little (mummy's) boy for a few years to come.

And meanwhile.. Joaquim looks promising in this picture. Being 20 days old and already smiling, it seems the little cutie will be a show-stopper!


I'm in heaven!

House on fire

It couldn't be any different, so Madonna's concert yesterday night in Maracana was, as I heard, absolutely amazing. The combination of the most professional pop artist in the world and the best audience on the planet was simply explosive.

The blonde put the biggest stadium in the world on fire and the 70.000-people crowd had a memorable night.

I am soooooooooooooooo jealous!

Not yet landed on Planet Earth

I've heard there is some sort of important event coming up but since I am still orbiting the moon, I haven't taken part in any preparation for it at all.

I have no idea what is going on with me at the moment - too sleepy, too tired, maybe feeling as if I was still pregnant - but I haven't taken notice of Christmas or New Year's at all and nearly forgot that is 9 days to go until the big night.

No shopping done yet and a Christmas "pine tree" that died (!!!) a week after I bought it, are very much the picture of my Christmas spirit this year.

As it is unavoidable, I might as well breathe deep and dive in as my next proper break will be in March when Carnaval is over, Antonio is back in school and I can resume life as a mother of two more peacefully.

E tem tambem essa que e' linda

"E a docura e' tanta que faz insuportavel cocega na alma. Viver e' magico e inteiramente inexplicavel. Eu compreendo melhor a morte."

C Lispector

Achei!

"Amar os outros e' a unica salvacao individual que conheco: ninguem estara' perdido se der amor e `as vezes receber amor em troca."

C Lispector

Butt Countdown

4 KGS TO GOOOOOOOO!!!!

HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fast response

As I was writing the post below, Patrick called me from a toy shop in Joburg to consult me on buying Christmas presents for Antonio.

I told him how I felt blue and confused about being here and not there, etc, etc, etc.

He told me that I shouldn't feel that way as he had heard this morning that a woman was murdered in Parkhurst (my neighbourhood in Joburg) in a daytime robbery, while she was at home with her 4 month-old baby. The husband came home and found her dead next to her sleeping newborn son.

Such a sad reminder of why I decided to come back and have my baby in Rio. Surely did not expect to have such a fast answer to my doubts.

Confusion

This week, astrologically speaking, was the most challenging of the year. The sky was a mess and most people felt emotionally touched by these aspects.

Personally, I haven't heard in a long time of so many people falling ill, going through surgery, having challenges at work or feeling kind of down for some reason or another.

For me, apart from being hit by awful health-related news of close relatives, I felt some sort of confusion regarding Brazil, South Africa, Rio, Joburg... and if I made the right choice to have "moved" here and not stayed in Africa with Patrick.

There is no right answer to this dilemma. Only the future developments will say if I was right or wrong to take this step.

Luckily, by Tuesday the 16th December the sky will be much clearer and we'll be ready to enjoy - finally - the upcoming holidays.

Primeiro isso, primeiro aquilo.../ First this, first that..

Ha tempos venho querendo postar umas notas sobre meu bebe querido e umas fotinhos tambem. Pois bem, seus varios "primeiros": banho de sol, banho de banheira, o cordao que caiu, e mais teste do pezinho (naaaaaooo) aconteceram ja ha mais de uma semana. Tadinho do meu Quim!! Sou uma mae muito desnaturada..!

Entao ai' vai.. Primeiro banho de sol:
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I've been trying, for a while now, to post a few notes and pictures of my beloved baby. Well, his many "first ones": sunbathing, bath, the umbilical cord that fell, plus the "foot test" (not sure of how it is called in English) happened more than a week ago. Poor little Baby Kim!! I am such an air-headed mummy!!

So here it goes.. First sunbathing:


E primeiro banho: (a casa inteira assistiu)
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The first bath: (everybody in the house took part of it)


Sem esquecer da supersticao Brazuca de botar ouro na banheira no primeiro banho (pra trazer muito sucesso pro pequeno):
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And finally the Brazilian superstition of putting gold in the first bath water (to bring lots of success to the baby's life):


E um irmao mais velho muito orgulhoso:
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And a very proud big brother:

Dying to see Madge

Next week there will be a Madonna concert in Rio but - damn it! - I won't make it.

I adore her - even after seeing her in person in Israel and finding her odd - and would absolutely love to see a sample of the Sticky and Sweet Tour. But it doesn't make any sense going through with it after a recent surgery.

For those fortunate who will enjoy such a spectacle, enjoy it cause it may as well be the last chance.

Desperate seeking Clarice

Since I last wrote about Clarice Lispector, I've been dreaming of re-possessing a fabulous book of hers I had left in Joburg.

My move has arrived, I've searched for it, but I haven't managed to find it yet.

Yesterday night I tried a bit of "soul enhancing" with Desmond Tutu and one of his books I love.

But it won't do it. I demand Clarice.

Old friend

I can't deny I am feeling the hormonal changes that come after pregnancy. Mind you, much softer this time round but nonetheless I feel kind of "under the weather".

Too tired and with a sick kid in the house, I still haven't recovered well from the cesarian. And I don't have so much free time to cuddle my newborn baby - who is an angel, by the way.

I've been thinking about my old friend Lexapro but am not sure yet. It is too much of a hassle getting off it again. So I don't know.

The good news is that I am losing weight by the second and have only 5kgs left to shed. And after finding my old super-duper sexy Yoga costume this morning (and wondering if I will ever look hot in it again) I look pretty damn forward to feel like a woman again.

But then again, this is the hormones speaking... So I might as well change the subject.

A foto oficial/The official portrait

Home sweet home

I am so pleased to be living in a house in such a quiet neighbourhood. It is a real privilege to be so close to the biggest urban forest in the world and at the same time being close to the buzz of Rio's trendiest areas.

For the boys is simply priceless living surrounded by so much green.

I have no doubt I am recovering much faster in this place than I would do if I was living in a flat in Leblon or Ipanema.

Below, a preview of our view from the kitchen window.

Encontro de irmaos/Meeting of brothers

O que deve ter passado pela cabecinha do meu Antonio ao ver seu irmaozinho pela primeira vez?

Eu acho essa foto simplesmente fora de serie.
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What might have gone through Antonio's mind at the moment when he saw his little brother for the first time?

I find this picture simply extraordinary.

E ele chegou../ And he has arrived..

My baby boy, Joaquim de Azambuja Fehring, came to the world on November 24th, 2008.

After another scare, a bleeding in the morning and rushing to the hospital for an emergency cesarian delivery, our boy was born at 14:33hs of a rainy Monday very healthy and looking beautiful.

Thankful, relieved and extremely happy I welcomed my new angel to the world secretly wishing him all the best of happiness in this world for his life.

And that rush of love took over me once again.

Coisa mais fofa

Ontem de manha, Antonio veio me mostrar o dever de casa dele. A tarefa era criar uma "reportagem", fazer um desenho e escrever algo a respeito.

Ele entao me apresentou essa verdadeira"joia", o lancamento de um foguete. Com direito a um astronauta dentro da cabine de controle ao lado e tudo.

Agora o mais fofo foi o texto, que dizia: "Prontu pra decolagem 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1"
Nem preciso dizer que que quase me derreti, nao e?

I loved this one I got this morning

Quote of the day:
'The financial situation at the moment is so bad that women are now marrying for love'

Ultima do barrigao/Bump update

Tem essa foto do cha que mostra bem o tamanho do barrigao. Olha so':
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Latest update on the bump. Check out this picture taken in the baby shower.

Cha' de bebe/Baby shower

Foi tanta confusao que acabei me esquecendo de escrever sobre o cha' de bebe do Joaquim.

Nem sei como comecar... afinal estava tudo simplesmente perfeito.

A Bruna, minha amiga querida do coracao, irma camarada e futura comadre, que vai ser a dinda do Quim, deu um show na organizacao do evento.


A casa, que ja' e um desbunde, estava linda - com sutis arranjos em hortensia - a mesa estava um luxo, a comida deliciosa, o servico impecavel. A anfitria veio chiquerrima (o que nao e' novidade) e suas meninas deram o toque gracioso `a uma tarde memora'vel.

As amigas mais queridas compareceram e o papo fluiu gostoso.


Obrigada, minha querida. Foi simplesmente inesquecivel! O Joaquim, aqui da barriga, agradece emocionado.
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After all the chaos, which took place last week, I nearly forgot to write about Joaquim's baby shower.

I don't even know where to start... as it was everything perfect!

Bruna, my dear friend, sister from the heart, and future "comadre", who will be Quim's godmother, organised the most memorable event.

Her beautifully decorated flat looked stunning - ornated with subtle blue hydrangeas' pieces - the table arrangement looked amazing, food was delicious, service was impecable. The hostess, looked super stylish (as always by the way) and her girls gave the afternoon a gracious touch.

My most dear friends showed up and conversation was good, funny, unpretentious.

Thank you very much, my dear. It was simply unforgetable! Joaquim, from inside the bump, thanks you enthusiastically, very touched by it all.

As Verdadeiras Mulheres Felizes II (continuacao)

Voltando a tal da frase... Olha so' o que a Martha escreve:

"O que ela quis dizer? Que os homens saem pela porta de manha e vao trabalhar sem pensar se os filhos estao bem agasalhados ou se fizeram o dever da escola. Os homens nao menstruam, nao tem celulite, nao passam por alteracoes hormonais que detonam o humor. Os homens nao se preocupam tanto com cabelo e nao morrem de culpa quando nao telefonam para suas maes. Os homens comem qualquer coisa na rua e o cardapio do jantar nao e' da sua conta, a nao ser quando decidem cozinhar eles proprios, e isso e' sempre um momento de lazer, nunca um dever. Os homens nao encasquetam tanto, sao mais praticos. Eu, que estou longe de ser uma feminista e mais longe ainda de ser ranzinza, tenho que reconhecer o brilhantismo da frase: OS HOMENS SAO MULHERES FELIZES. Eles fazem tudo o que a gente gostaria de fazer: nao se preocupam em demasia com nada.

Porque nosso mal e' este: pensar demais."

Nao e' perfeito?

As Verdadeiras Mulheres Felizes I

Ja escrevi aqui no blog sobre o livro dela, "Doidas e Santas", simplesmente sensacional, meu livro de cabeceira. Martha Medeiros, a autora, e' do naipe de Clarice Lispector, tem o talento de botar no papel o que sentimos. E com maestria.

Ja li o livro livro todo mas gostei tanto que vira-e-mexe volto la' pra dar uma olhada, tao bom que e'.

Tem uma cronica em especial que achei genial, "As Verdadeiras Mulheres Felizes". Nela, Martha fala sobre o livro da francesa Eliette Abecassis, sobre o nascimento de um filho e o fim de seu casamento e ainda solta a frase: "os homens sao as verdadeiras mulheres felizes".

Continua
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I've previously written about her book in the blog, "Doidas e Santas" (Psychos and Saints), simply sensational, my bedside table book. Martha Medeiros, the author, is from the same school as Clarice Lispector, and has the talent to put everyone's feelings onto paper. And with mastery.

I've already finished the book and liked it so much that every now and then I go back and take a look, so well written it is her work.

There is a chronicle in particular that I found brilliant, "The Real Happy Women". In it, Martha makes a reflection about the book of a French author, Eliette Abecassis, which adresses the birth of her child and end of her marriage. In it she found the sentence: "men are the real happy women".

To be continued

Lazy

I promise to translate the posts below to English tomorrow morning. It's already 10pm and I am pretty tired.

Good night.

Adoro

Nao escondo de ninguem que adoro uma piruice. Gosto de roupa, decoracao, cabelereiro, sapatos ate' nao poder mais, flores frescas, joias de qualquer tamanho e valor, lingerie, revistas de moda, spa, pulseiras, massagem, unha grande, cabelao. Tudo bem mulherzinha mas nada exagerado.

Na falta de filhas mulheres, tive de me contentar em fazer o quarto dos meus meninos de forma bastante alegrinha mas sem frescuras. Tento pegar leve, mesmo que tenha vontade de "pirar" de vez em quando. E quando vao chegando as coisas e vejo o resultado, fico na M-A-I-O-R F-E-L-I-C-I-D-A-D-E! Vivi isso ha poucos dias atras.

Abaixo uma palhinha do quartinho do meu Quim. Em breve fotos de tudo pronto.


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I can't hide from anyone the fact that I am the queen of frillery. I love clothes, decoration, hairdressers, shoes galore, freshly cut flowers, jewllery of every size, shape and value, lingerie, fashion magazines, spas, bangles, massages, long manicured fingernails, long hydrated hair. All very feminine, nothing over the top.

As I had no baby girls, I had to contend myself to decorate the room of my boys in the most beautiful way but with no frills. I try to take it easy, despite wanting to go "nuts" once in a while. And when it is all ready and well in place, I feel an enormous satisfaction with the result I see. I went through this experience just a few days ago.

Above, a small sample of the decoration. Soon, I'll post a few pics of the baby room looking all nice and ready.

Clarice

Tenho uma amiga inteligente, culta, bonita e talentosa, Fabiana "Bibi" Barcinski, que teve uma filha e chamou-a de Clarice.

Achei sua escolha simplesmente extraordinaria, ja' que imaginei se tratar de uma homenagem a fabulosa Clarice Lispector.

Sou fa incondicional, louca, simplesmente devoro o trabalho dessa figura unica. E vou comecar a postar algumas frases de sua autoria e passagens de seus livros.

Leitura obrigatoria para mulheres, tenho certeza que muita gente, como eu, passou a vida inteira esperando alguem botar em palavras aquilo que sentimos. E ela fez exatamente isso.
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I have a friend, who is intelligent, cultivated, beautiful and talented, Fabiana "Bibi" Barcinski, who had a daughter and called her Clarice.

I found her name choice simply extraordinary, as I figured out it was a tribute to the fabulous Clarice Lispector.

I am an unconditional fan, mad, I simply adore the work of this unique figure. And I will start posting a few phrases and passages from her books.

Compulsory reading for women, I am certain that lots os people, like me, spent their whole lives waiting for someone to put on words what goes inside our minds and hearts. She did exactly that.

Dr Luis Fernando bateu o martelo

Estive la' hoje e meu querido obstetra decidiu: "Seguramos o Joaquim ate' dia 30. Quero entrega'-lo pro Pedro sem ele ter nada pra fazer".

O Pedro nesse caso, e' o Dr Pedro Solberg, pediatra do Antonio que fara' o parto do Quim junto com o Dr Luis Fernando e o Dr Bruno. Ele quer esperar ate' 38 semanas e ate' o nenem estar "prontinho", portanto repouso absoluto ate' la'.

E assim foi decidido e na proxima semana vem a confirmacao. Parece que o Sr Joaquim de Azambuja Fehring vai nascer mesmo no dia 1o. de Dezembro de 2008.
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I went to his practice early this morning and my beloved obstetrician decided: "We'll keep Joaquim in till the 30th December. I want to hand him over to Pedro and give him no trouble at all".

Pedro, in this case, is Dr Pedro Solberg, Antonio's pediatrician, who will work hand-in-hand at the delivery with Dr Luis Fernando and Dr Bruno. He told me he wants to wait until the 38th week and until the baby is ready. So I must keep on resting.

And that's how it was decided and next week we'll have the confirmation. It seems Master Joaquim de Azambuja Fehring will come to the world on the 1st December 2008.

And last

It's great being home.

Abundance of love

One cannot - and should not - oversee the flooding of love and genuine concern dispensed by those closest when an unexpected situation happens in one's life.

I felt incredibly fortunate and overwhelmed by all the demonstrations of love and friendship I got from my friends and family after what happened to me last week.

They outshone by far the lack of support I got from those I most expected to.

To everyone who called to offer help and to check on me, to send their love or simply to say hi, my infinite gratitude and love.

I am nothing without you people.

The biggest scare

There are moments in life when everything else seems to be extremely small and irrelevant. When we are faced with panic and real scare.

Waking up last Wednesday with a bleeding and having to rush to the hospital in my 35th week of pregnancy was one of those moments. Worst of all: fearing for my baby's life.

Being alone with a five-year old boy in a house - being heavily pregnant - and not knowing what to do when you must jump a taxi and leave him with a neighbour makes you stop and think that there is something really wrong about the whole situation. And about your life in general.

The health problem was actually dealt with. My body was too tired and my placenta warned me of being too much "out and about" (when I shouldn't) and screamed: "STOP!"

The long overdue life-changing measures I must take are just starting though.

Bumpy in the tropics

There is no better place in the world than Brazil for being pregnant. People here are enormously kind and helpful to pregnant women. I already start missing all this attention, which will vanish very soon.

Be it in banks, shops, on the street. From taxi drivers, waiters, shop clerks, pedestrians in general. It's all smiles, helping hands and politeness. Pure bliss.

On top of that, people seem to feel magnetized by baby bumps.. Women love it - they want to know the gender, the name, the due date (oh, you look so fit!) - and men (believe me) seem to have a strange, out-of-place attraction towards it as well.

It is time then to enjoy the last leg of the ride as in a few weeks time I'll go from being "with child" to being overweight (and not so sure if you are still pregnant or not - awful!) and then the real hard work starts. Shedding baby kilos is surely not such an easy task at 37.

Getting jealous

Our little boy Antonio. So cute and loving and already so jealous of his unborn brother... the poor thing.

I remember when I was a little girl and my younger cousin was born. As my grandmother was the most important person in the world to me, I felt like ripping myself apart every time I saw granny holding Mari in her arms.

I am sure we'll do our best to comfort our boy. However, in truth, there is not so much we can do to relief his feelings. So natural and unavoidable.

House arrest

That is the perfect definition for what I am going through right now.

Being (and feeling) huge and having to take it easy until the birth (by doctor's orders) I have decided to venture out only when strictly necessary.

This afternoon I've heard all the gossip (and told a few) from my maid's family, friends and neighbours, the hot stuff going on in the favela (township) where she lives and stories from her hometown (ex-husband tales, mother-in-law back stabs, all the lot) - I know, I know, I should have saved a little bit for later on.. but I just couldn't resist..

Luckily enough this week I have a few unavoidable commitments (e.g.: Joaquim's baby shower, doctor's appointment, a kid's party, massage).

By next week, when boredom may be taking over, I might think about starting to do some online Christmas shopping.

And - who knows? - I might even send out a few Christmas cards ON TIME for the first time in my life.

Santa porradaria

Hoje vi na TV e quase me rasguei de rir da historia de uma briga entre monges Gregos e Armenios dentro do Santo Sepulcro em Jerusalem.

Ano passado quando estive em Israel, fiquei muito impressionada com a grande diferenca entre as quatro partes da "cidade velha" de Jerusalem - Judaica, Muculmana (com cedilha), Crista (com til) e Armenia.

Na parte Crista (com til no A), um detalhe em particular me chamou a atencao...

... a sisudez do monge grego (todo de preto, com uma barbicha rala comprida, com aspecto sujo e totalmente mal-humorado) que tomava conta do ediculo, espaco que "aparentemente" guarda a tumba de Jesus Cristo.

Cada fiel so pode ficar 30 segundos dentro do espaco e ja, ja tem que sair ao comando do tal monge estranho, que fica estacionado na porta, olhando de esguelha.

Em tal clima de bizarrice, nao estranho nada, nada que o pau coma entre esses malucos dia sim, outro tambem.

And...

... just for the record, Vasco's dramatic situation in the National Football Championship may force them to drop down to Series B.

HAHAHAHA - it feels fantastic thinking that this may become reality.

Yes, yes, Mr Paes, one can't win on every single front.

The Pit-Mayor (Pitbull+Mayor)

I remember a very funny story of when I was around 18 years-old, coming back from a football game in Maracana (Rio's main stadium) with a couple of friends.

I've always been a fervent Flamengo supporter and my passion for the club was notorious among my friends at that time (still love Mengo to bits).

This afternoon in particular, the match was between the archi-rivals Flamengo and Vasco and unfortunately we lost 2x1 despite having opened the score in the first half.

Despite the awful result, I agreed to join 3 dear friends (all guys and crazy Vasco supporters) to have a beer and a pizza in Banana Cafe, a very popular hang-out at the time.

As we came in, all laughing and enjoying ourselves, we met another Vasco fan, whom, among other things decided to make fun of my Flamengo jersey and to slash on my team.

We then started a heated discussion and the, very rude guy, told me simply to F... OFF! Just like that.. for no reason at all. We were all shocked by his lousy temper and by such an ungentleman-like behaviour.

The reason why I remembered this story is because this guy was elected 2 weeks ago as the new mayor of Rio de Janeiro and his name is Eduardo Paes.


PS: Paes is the one on the right-hand side, looking every little bit like the Vasco supporter (arrrgh), pit-mayor, "in-the-closet" politician (rumours..), hand-in-hand with "Father Lino". No comments.

Missing our doggy

It's been now 4 months that we came to Rio and stayed on. As unplanned as our stay was, our puppy Chocolate was left behind in Joburg for what was supposed to be a one-week stay in Brazil.

After all this time, Antonio misses our dog terribly and I can't hide I am heart-broken as well.

Last week we nearly bought a Shitsu puppy (called Victor) in a shopping center but then later thought it was "kind of" insane to have a new baby and a new puppy at the same time.

Plus the thoughts of Choc eating his own pooh when he was tiny made me so sick (and being told that all Shitsus do the same) that I decided it was better to wait for a while and then have our one and only doggy shipped from SA (as he is now "nearly" trained and no longer appreciates this delicacy as a meal).

Just for the record, a picture of our beloved doing something he absolutely HATED (but looked lovely afterwards).

The Press

Brazilian press is merciless with our politicians and their never-ending corruption scandals.

The press, in Rio in particular, covers absolutely EVERYTHING that goes on in the city and country. Be it money-laundrying scandals, violent crimes, police corruption, the horrendous situation of Rio's healthcare system. You name it.

Their favourite characters (to slash on) include Lula, our president, Cesar Maia , Rio's mayor (in his last weeks as mayor), George Bush, sometimes Putin, whoever else is in the limelight and, of course, Dunga, our national coach.

Agression aside, touches of humour certainly enhance the "not-so-easy-to-read" pages (for obvious, bloody reasons).

This morning, it featured on the first page of "O Globo" (best selling serious paper) this charicature of Rio's Cesar Maia ("the only mayor in the world who became a full-time blogger during his mandate" - anonymous author).

I loved it.



It says: Meanwhile in "ostrasystem". the mayor says: "tell me about you, George"

Last strength

A flu was the last thing I needed right now when I feel so heavy and tired - at the last stage of my pregnancy.

Our house still have no furniture, as our container sits at Rio's port waiting for the majestic spectacle of bureaucracy performed by Brazilian customs to come to an end and therefore we have very little to do in our new home.

I cannot find a proper position to sit and write or to sleep and my feet are getting swollen.

I'd call this pregnancy, move and re-start of our lives in Rio, an endurance test. Really, there is no better way to describe it.

All worthwhile, that's for sure. There is nothing better than being handed over your newborn baby. The explosion of love is indescribable.

Let me try and keep this in mind 24/7 in the tough weeks ahead.

The new US President

I haven't felt that happy about politics in a long time.

Actually, I haven't written anything regarding Obama's victory in my blog and decided I won't do it.

Anything I write will seem too small to describe the importance of this event to the world and inter-racial relations.

Congratulations to the American People and Barack himself and all the best of luck for the next 4 years.

3 to 5 weeks to go

I had a scan yesterday morning and our little baby is already 2,5kgs - Hurray!!!

Once again we were overwhelmed by the experience of a 4D scan in real time and how precise all the details on Joaquim's face, body and internal organs were shown on video.

This time I couldn't quite figure out whose features the baby has. A few months ago I thought he looked very much like his bro and later like his daddy.

Who knows..? Maybe this time I might have a child who looks just like me.

As irrelevant as this actually is after all. From the bottom of my heart it makes no difference to me at all.

Pink for breast cancer

The statue of Christ, the Redeemer, on top of Corcovado Mountain, Rio de Janeiro, Brasil is for sure one of the best-known postcards of the world.

This week a campaign to raise awareness for breast cancer prevention changed the statue's lighting from white to pink.

Original idea, beautiful result. In a city already spoiled for choice.

Still on South Africa

"A Terror threat to the ruling party" was the brilliant title of the excellent article I read in the Economist about the probable split in SA's ANC.

It describes the rift in the party between (former President) Mbeki and (future President) Zuma supporter's, which caused the fall of Tabo a few weeks ago.

The "Terror" in question would be Mr Mosiuoa Lekota, the former Defense Minister (which resigned after Mbeki's departure and who is his most fervent supporter), and who was so affectionately nicknamed (Terror) for his "once-dazzling skills on a football field."

I simply adore such touches of humour a good journalist can give to a serious article. And SA politics offers plenty of material for talented professionals.

Jokes apart, if this split really happens, it will be excellent news to South African politics. The corrupt, chaotic, unstable political scene is in much need of real opposition.

Otherwise there is no real Democracy in place.

Missing South Africa

Living in Africa, even if for a short period of time, always leaves a mark on someone's life.

My bond to South Africa, South Africans and the city of Johannesburg (amazingly enough) is rock solid and I can't help but missing my old country of residence.

I'm back to reading Mail & Guardian (SA's serious paper) online and focusing on African conflicts in the International press - like the crisis in Congo for instance.

At the same time, I've been getting lots of e-mails lately from SA friends, sharing crime stories and warning of new techniques of breaking into properties, highjacking, killing.

As Patrick said, we were on "borrowed time" in our last months in Jo'burg - as we were some of the only ones of a group of friends who were never touched by crime.

I rather stay on this meager side of SA statistics.

Getting ready for Joaquim

A break for a few pics is always needed to enjoy the moment.

Building Joaquim's cot, the same one used by Antonio nearly 6 years ago, was a joyful moment. Just a simple reminder of what is coming up very soon.

We simply can't wait for his arrival.

Roberto Minczuk

Sabemos bem que todo genio e' temperamental. Imaginava que o maestro Roberto Minczuk, diretor da OSB, nao fosse diferente, em se tratando de um regente extraordinario.

Porem, eu nao esperava que ele fosse uma "prima-dona" daquelas e uma nota no jornal desta manha, me deixou perplexa.

Aparentemente o talentosi'ssimo Roberto e' tambem um tirano. Seus musicos, que se reuniram em assembleia e pediram sua saida em maioria absoluta, reclamam de maus-tratos e condicoes psicologicas insuportaveis para traballhar, desrespeito e regras injustas.

Minczuk deu nova vida `a ja decadente OSB - isso todo mundo sabe. Tive o imenso prazer de assistir `a um concerto logo no comeco desse "casamento" e sai' do teatro em extase com tamanha performance.

Com esse "divorcio" iminente, perdemos todos: no's os cariocas, a OSB, os musicos, o regente.

Uma pena que tamanho talento venha acompanhado de um ego tao inflado.

Leitura imperdivel

Folheando livros na Livraria da Travessa em Ipanema, me deparei com essa joia de livro.

Havia lido um nota sobre seu lancamento e a bonita capa me chamou a atencao enquanto eu enchia linguica esperando a chuva passar.

"Doidas e Santas" e' engracado, humano, inteligente e maravilhosamente bem escrito.

A autora, Martha Medeiros, cronista do Globo e do Zero Hora, e' brilhante. Eu nao a conhecia mas virei leitora assidua e fa de carteirinha.

News

I am now in my 32nd week. Baby Joaquim is such a kicker..

After zillions of unplanned developments, we have rented a lovely, unusual house in Jardim Botanico, Rio's very green, laid-back, village-style neighbourhood at the slopes of magnificent Corcovado Mountain.

Antonio and I moved in yesterday and so far so good. With very little furniture but equipped with fast internet access, cable TV (basic stuff comes first) and a spotless house, we look forward to a lovely future in this place.

Happy but too tired to be more enthusiastic... Check out the bump.

Countdown

I am 8 months pregnant with a baby boy. We'll call him Joaquim.

My pregnancies are not meant for the faint-hearted as they usually include transatlantic moves, medical errors, confusion, splitting the family apart.

As I write my household is crossing the Atlantic Ocean in the MS Elaine and arrival in Rio is due on the 24th October. By then I'll be 32 weeks!

Patrick is commuting between Joburg, London and Rio, while Antonio and I are sharing our lovely - but tiny - apart-hotel in Ipanema. And hopefully he'll get transferred to Brazil or get a new job here very soon.

There is no place like home

We have left South Africa for Brazil 3 months ago in an unplanned, chaotic, emergency move.

Rio is home again and hopefully it will be for quite a while.

Despite missing Joburg, friends, our home and South Africa in general, I can't help but feeling happy and stable in my beloved city.

And Rio will be the main topic of my blog plus a few funny stories of family life in Brazil.

With a critical eye but with a much softer heart - this is home after all - I'll write tales of everyday life in the world's most beautiful and vibrant, but most violent, city.

Enjoy it.